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Moving forward

Date October 6, 2010

Lately, I have found myself in an insurmountable amount of emotional pain.  Pain that reverberates through my entire body, leaving me limp, and hopeless, with nowhere to turn.  People?  I lost all ability to cope, with even the most minute of issues.  It has been  next to impossible for me to function in what I would consider a normal way.  The way that I have always been.

I am incredibly angry.  Irritable.  Irrational.  One moment, happy, the next sad.  The next?  So angry that I have walked out on my family (twice) and spent the night in a hotel room by myself, ranting at what I don’t know.  That brief respite, however unjustified, left me feeling drained and comatose.  Depression cuts you off from everything that is important to you.  I don’t have the energy to talk to my parents or the rest of my family or friends, because oh my Lord, I just can’t fake it any more.  In my mind, why even try because most people, sadly even my family, just don’t get it.  Let’s be frank here.  How could they understand when they haven’t gone through it themselves?

Much of my family and friends have told me that I just need to get past it. I am overreacting.  Granted, in my youth, I was good at that.  Perhaps I should have been an actress.  So who can blame those who believe that what I am going through is nothing more than an emotional tantrum?

Those who love me most just don’t get it.  My way to deal with it, though not what one would consider the best, is to shut them off.  Not to call.  Not to email.  Cut off all but the absolutely necessary contact.  Is this the right thing to do?  In my heart, no.  They love me despite who I am.  I guess I just want them to understand.  If I were to be truthful, how can they understand unless I take the time to tell them?  To tell them until they HEAR me?

“You need to pray more.  You need to get more sleep.  You need to break through all of this instead of giving in.  You need to…you need to…”  I had to, as much as it hurts me, stop listening.  Because there is something wrong with me.  Terribly wrong.  That can’t be fixed by prayers or just “getting up off my ass already and dealing with it.”  That’s life you know.  Get over it.  Or so I am told.

Here I am, going through this.  Struggling at how I ask for help.  In comes, my yearly check up.  I have been having physical (read female issues) for about a year and a half now.  I am in what is believed to be a peri-menopausal state (or is that country?).  Well below the age of the average menopausal woman.  The symptoms and other tests I have point to several things, and of course Endometrial Cancer is the only one I can remember.  The same day I had my annual, I had a Endometrial Biopsy done and today I got the results.

I am cancer free (even precancerous free).

The doctor talked to me for over an hour and a half after she gave me the results.  I talked (babbled), she listened.  Can you imagine that?  She LISTENED.  She had already read my file before my appointment (ya, I know!) and had quite a bit of options for me.  Oh my the options.  From the least invasive to the one I want to avoid at all costs.

So now? I have a plan.  And am moving forward.  Tonight?  I am happy.

It also helped me, that when I started crying, and became incoherent for NO REASON AT ALL, she put her hand on my shoulder and said “I’m sorry.  Let me help you.  You poor thing.  Let me help.”

And I cried more.

I don’t have cancer.  I am going back on antidepressants.  I’m not just faking it.  And someone believes me.  Physically, I have a plan to help me control the aspects of what I am going through.  I can do this.  More important, I want to.

Watch out world.  I am coming back.

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Captain…she’s breaking up!

Date August 19, 2010

Woooohooo!  It has been a busy but very productive (and good) week.  Work has been crazy (but good) as we are heading towards fiscal year end.  This happens every year and you would THINK I would be used to it by now, but it always blows my mind.  I actually really enjoy the challenge of trying to keep up with everything so it’s all good.  It does become a little sticky because the beginning of the Fiscal Year “Crunch” coincides with “The Beginning of the School Year.”  (insert Twilight Zone music here)

All is well though.  I think that we’ve finally gotten “the schedule” down pat.

Note to readers:  Not a good excuse for the lapse in blogging but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Hope y’all have had a fantastic week.  Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

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The Scream

Date August 8, 2010

I am going to call this a guest post, even though it really isn’t. This was written by a new friend of mine, that I have had the pleasure of getting to know on-line. She has gone through so much in her life, yet she perseveres, and continually moves forward. I couldn’t me more proud of her. This post is powerful and something that was first written quite some time ago. The reason that am sharing it is because the impact of her words and the honest, open pain that she shares is far reaching, and comforting to those of us who have gone through a difficult past, or for those of us, like myself, who are fighting a battle with depression. She is a REAL person, just like you and me. Please, go read “The Scream“.

I hope it affects you as much as it did me.

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Scheduling 101

Date August 3, 2010

Goodness, where has the summer gone? School starts up for the kids on August 12th and as I have posted before, I have braved those barbaric things called “THE MALL” and gotten most of the clothes shopping done. We have just a few more things to get this weekend but I have time to fortify myself and continue to beat my head against the well to give me strength. That and Vodka. I’m just saying. Hint: When there is blood involved and it is on your clothes, spot treat it with your favorite stain fighting detergent, in cold water before you put it in the washer.

Speaking of summer! Chickie has started band camp and they practice from 8-5. In the heat. In the incredible heat. With indices of 110 degrees. Fortunately (????) the only time they are outside is from 8-12. Phew, for a minute there, I thought they would have a hard time of it (tongue in cheek). She lathers herself with sunscreen and still ends up coming home slightly sunburned and sore. And tired. But, surprisingly enough, quite happy. She had practice all last week from 8-12 but it was indoors. She has practice all this week from 8-5 (did I mention half of that is in the heat) and then on the following Monday and Tuesday from 8-12. One day off and the SCHOOL STARTS. Already?

So that is how the last couple of weeks have been going. It’s all good. The kids are happy. I am happy. My man (go leave a comment and say hi via me) is happy. Can you get any better than that?

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Welcome New Members!!!

Date August 3, 2010

We are slowly building up the site by small leaps and I couldn’t be happier. I thought I would take the time to introduce you to the wonderful people who are part of Moogie Shops! As others join, I will let you know about them here. You can also find them all! At one time! In one place! At Moogie Shops!

***************************************************************

WEBSITE: Bumbleberries Boutique

DESCRIPTION: Beautiful fabric flowers, chic totes and handbags, and more! Fast and easy tutorials that anyone can make. Plus beautiful 100% quilt weight cotton fabric from top designers.

CONTACT: Georgianna Gray

EMAIL: bumbleberriesboutique@gmail.com

***************************************************************

WEBSITE: AJs Art Studio – Etsy

DESCRIPTION: Paper Goods: Tags, Cards, Upcycled

CONTACT: Audra Jones

EMAIL: audraljones@hotmail.com

***************************************************************

WEBSITE: AJs Art Studio

DESCRIPTION: Watercolors, Mixed-Media Collages, Prints

CONTACT: Audra Jones

EMAIL: audraljones@hotmail.com

***************************************************************

WEBSITE: Kim’s Cases, Facebook

DESCRIPTION: Personalized Pillowcases, Blankets, Tote Bags, T-shirts, Onesies and more!

CONTACT: Kim Marshall Vasquez

EMAIL: kims-cases@att.net

***************************************************************

seaglassjewelry

WEBSITE: Sea Glass Jewelry

DESCRIPTION: Authentic sea glass jewelry. Each piece has been hand crafted to detail by sea glass artist Danielle Renee’. Visit “Sea Glass Jewelry by Danielle Renee’ to view a vast display of colorful wearable art created with vintage sea glass.

CONTACT: Danielle Renee

EMAIL: Sales@jewelrybydaniellerenee.com

PHONE: 978-270-1021

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24525_avatar_thumb_crop Patti

WEBSITE: Patti’s Precious Jewelry and Crafts! and Fan Page.

DESCRIPTION: Handcrafted and Unique Jewelry and Crafts.

CONTACT: Patti Martin

EMAIL: ppj2006@hotmail.com

***************************************************************

papfacebook

WEBSITE: Pappilon Jewels

DESCRIPTION: Bookmarks, bracelets, ankle jewelry, beaded rings, toe rings, handbag/phone jewelry, necklaces, curtain tiebacks, beaded bra straps and more!

CONTACT: Lynne Burton

EMAIL: admin@pappilon-jewels.com

***************************************************************

osebastian

WEBSITE: O. Sebastian Jewelry HERE or HERE.

DESCRIPTION: Chain maille jewelry and evening bags, as well as other jewelry.

CONTACT: Karen Snyder

EMAIL: KSnyder169@aol.com

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archerlane

WEBSITE: Archer Lane Designs

DESCRIPTION: Hand crafted Jewelry…as unique as you!

CONTACT: Michelle Marsan

EMAIL: Michelle.Marsan@bluegreencorp.com

PHONE: 407-325-7101

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School days

Date August 1, 2010

School starts up again for the girls on August 12th. I think they are, at the same time, looking forward to it and dreading it. I can’t blame them because I really feel the same way.

Be that as it may, school time brings up the topic of school clothes shopping. I HATE school clothes shopping. When they were younger, it was so much easier. Now they have their own tastes. I have learned to take a step back and relax. I am only along for the ride. We start with one mall, and move on to the next. The girls have specific tastes, which if I let it, make me absolutely crazy. Now, I just follow them around, hold up a pair of pants or shirts, watch them roll their eyes or show interest, and move on to the next rack.

We first went shopping Saturday. That was a bust and we had little to no luck. Let me just state here that Meelie gets frustrated very easily. She was absolutely, positively sure that she was going to have no new clothes to wear. I tried to explain to her that just because you don’t find something right away, it’s not the end of the world. She was having none of it. Both of the girls knew we were going to head downtown to shop today. Chickie was fine with that and looking forward to it. Meelie didn’t see the point as she had already figured out she would be nude during the entire school year.

This morning dawned, and with it brought new attitudes, and it clearly showed in Meelie’s face. There was HOPE! Once AGAIN! I am happy to report that we were lucky, even though I didn’t agree to buy her a $80 pair of Sperry’s so she had to settle for the knock-offs. Which ended up being a good thing because she found out a couple of her friends did the same thing. I mean really? $80 for a pair for shoes for a 12 year old? NOT!

So, next weekend, we only have a few more things to get. The bulk of the shopping was done today. As I was writing this, I realized that we haven’t even delved into the area of school supplies yet.

Guss we’ll be eating rice and beans for a few more weeks.

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Moogie Shops – Featuring “O. Sebastian Chainmaille Creations”

Date July 28, 2010

osebastianMiss Karen is at it again.  She has reached 267 fans for her site!  Can you believe it?  You should really go visit O. Sebastian Chainmaille Creations HERE or HERE.  I don’t think you will be sorry.  Here is her introduction found at her site:

Welcome to O. Sebastian and thank you for stopping by! I use sterling silver, gold-fill, semi-precious stones, Swarovski crystals and precious metal beads and findings, unless otherwise noted. Just about anything you see can be adapted or changed to meet your wishes, so contact me if you have any requests.

All chain maille items are made with sterling or gold-fill rings that I coil and hand-cut, then weave into these extraordinary pieces of jewelry. I hand-make all of my ear wires, clasps and findings unless otherwise noted. I professionally finish every item by de-burring and sanding, then tumbling for a mirror-bright shine.

I also offer one-of-a-kind chain maille purses as custom orders, please message me if you have something in mind.

Browse to your heart’s content and hopefully you will find plenty to love. I always welcome a challenge, and custom orders are easily arranged. Enjoy!

Here contact information is located HERE on Moogie Shops!  I hope you enjoy her jewelry as much as I do.

If you would like to be featured in Moogie Shops!, just add your name to our growing list of sites.  The instructions  can be found HERE.  Easy peasy lemon squeezie!  What are you waiting for?

NOTE: We are (ok Tammi is) in the midst of redesigning the Moogie Shops page.  Please check back often.  We have lots of fun things in store!  I can’t wait to share them with you.

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We are doomed

Date July 26, 2010

mooch2

We have named the stray cat.  You never do that if you don’t want to keep it.  It’s my husband’s fault.  Will write more later.  Like how she ended up with us.  Right now?  Don’t get me started.

Internet?  Meet Mooch.

Darn cat.

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Home

Date July 25, 2010

2010-07-25 09 30 39 (2)

This weekend, we went for a surprise visit to my folk’s house.  As always, we had a fantastic time.  We always do.  Generally we get to visit with the cousins, who much to my delight, enjoy each other and generally merciless teasing and laughing occur.  Good times.  There is a flip side to that.  We always have to come home, which in turn, makes me rather meloncholy.  I love visiting with my parents (and even that pesky brother of mine) but it is always so difficult to leave them.  I love my home, with my husband and children, but going to visit Mom and Dad feels like I am really going “home.”  I guess it’s kind of hard to understand.

I suppose that you are never to old to need your parents and their unconditional love.  And I am cool with that.

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New Page!!!

Date July 20, 2010

Welcome! This is a new page I have created for the lovers of all things hand made. Please see below. I hope you enjoy. Go here for the links. For future reference, the tab is “Shop.”

Hi!

Thanks for stopping by!

This page is dedicated to on-line shopping links (for handmade stuff) that my readers love. Right now, the categories are wide open. The idea is to steer away from the commercial sites and concentrate on those that are personally owned (not necessarily by one person). “It is important for all of us to help each other and be supportive and encouraging. Networking is how each of us in the handmade world grow our business and the more we help others, the more we help ourselves.” (to quote a friend).

Here are the rules:

  1. You may submit your own site or that of someone you like.
  2. Provide a description of the site you are submitting.
  3. Provide the link and title of the site you are submitting.
  4. Provide a contact for the site you are submitting.
  5. After review, if the site you have submitted meets what we are looking for, it will be added to our list.
  6. To submit a link, go on over to my contact tab and provide the information.

In the near future, we will be doing a “site of the month”, as well as give-aways and promotions. We are in the early stages yet, so any suggestions are welcome.

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